Andy’s Perfect Granola™

And how to say thank you.

A friend you invited over knocks on the door. The dogs rally and bark and pace. When your friend finally makes it past the threshold of overexcited jumping barking dogs, they say “wow I love the view.” “Thanks” you reply, “wish it was mine!” You offer them some homemade granola. They love it. “Thanks, I definitely put too much cardamom.”

Finally, the dogs calm down enough to be appreciated. And they are. You’re chatting and drinking coffee and your friend comments about how well behaved they are. You retort “yeah, once they’ve calmed down they’re alright.”.

Your friend departs, and you start to pace. You’re haunted by the words you chose. Your sweet friend was lifting you up, and you were throwing down each compliment with a counterargument. 

Am I broken? Have I been wronged? Why can’t I accept a single kind word? I remember my mom doing this. When the family chaos was settling and all 6 of us were gathering and bickering around the table ready to eat, my mom would always punish herself a little bit. “I forgot the buns.” “I overcooked the potatoes.” There was always something that could have been done better. Is this how I became like this? Likely inspired it. And maybe I found comfort in this. Apparently, compliments can make people with low self-esteem feel misunderstood. It challenges their self-views and can create anxiety. We’re adaptive. We can change. I’ve adopted a practice to challenge this. And it’s working, I think.

I’ll begin today with the granola. Sure, there might have been too much cardamom. I might have over baked the first batch. But perfect is impossible if not subjective. To someone who loves cardamom, this granola is perfect. For someone who prefers to rent, this view is perfect. I mean, what does renting even have to do with a view? For someone who wants their guests to be accosted by jumping, barking dogs, these dogs are perfect.

I’m gonna trade “yeah, buts” for “yes, ands” like they do in improv (look it up, it’s a good life lesson). Or even better, just accept a compliment and keep the conversation rolling. I once read to never return a compliment with another compliment – it can seem contrived, and it usually is. Just say thank you. That’s all you have to do.

I’ve been making this perfect granola. A friend suggested to make my own when grocery prices became astronomical. My absolute favourite granola is Terra Bread’s small batch Granola™. So I wanted to emulate it. As I googled this to find a link for you, it’s on sale. 13.99 for an 800g bag at London Drugs. Ok. Is this cheaper than making it at home? I did the math. The total cost of the ingredients used in a batch of granola was about $24* which yielded about 1400 grams of Andy’s Perfect Granola™. The math tells me that this is just under $14 for 800g. Tax included. We’re marginally ahead of the game.

So far the only compliments I’ve received on my granola have been demanded. I told my friends how perfect it is, they tried it and they generally agreed. And now I’m realizing that giving away jars of granola means I’m losing money. But I guess friends are worth it. And this granola is perfect.

But life is expensive.

Thanks for reading,

Andrew, Yaya, & Boo

PS. My print sale is still up until Friday. With $10 from each print being donated to Sulala Animal Rescue, you’ve helped me raise over $200 so far, so thank you.

*I lost my receipt and did head math to figure out the costs. There’s a very good chance it isn’t accurate at all.

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Andy’s Perfect Granola™

Preheat oven to 300°.

Add to giant bowl:

• 4 cups rolled oats

• 1/2 cup wheat germ

• 1/3 cup ground flax

• 1/2 cup unsweetened coconut

• 1/2 cup sunflower seeds

• Dash of cardamom

• Dash of nutmeg

• 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon

• 1 1/2 cups raisins and/or dried cranberries

• (Add an egg white if you want it clumpier)

In saucepan, bring these ingredients to a simmer stirring constantly and remove immediately:

• 3/4 teaspoons salt

• 1/2 cup honey and/or brown sugar

• 1/2 cup maple syrup

• 1/2 cup coconut oil

• 1/2 tablespoon vanilla extract

Add the wet mix to the dry mix, mix them well. Once mixed add them to a cooking sheet (line/coat it with whatever so no sticky). Pack them down a bit so they can clump together. I love clumps. Clumps are important to me. Clump. Let it bake for 20-25 minutes, rotate it 180 degrees so it bakes evenly. Let it bake for another 20-25 minutes. Remove and let it sit until it’s completely cooled off. Break it into bits, add nuts (about 2 cups of a mix of almonds, pecans, walnuts, cashews, and/or pistachios), and enjoy.

Do you make a perfect granola too? Share your tips in the comments please. And also please describe your perfect granola.