Thank you for this. . . . At age 64, I am still struggling with the legacy of my given family (I love them but . . . ), and a year and a half after losing my beloved partner (my best friend and place of calm and joy) to brain cancer, these holidays feel especially difficult. But it's okay. We are all a work in progress.
I find myself sharing your newsletter with my nephew because I often feel like your writings are so similar. Family can be so hard. My mom loved my children dearly but she and I had such a difficult relationship. I miss her of course but we have had the best time with our now adult children at Christmas since she has passed.
Just a note to say I really enjoyed this newsletter. Struggling through holidays hits different now that I have my own kids—it’s not a tradition I want to pass on. Happy to say they are big Momo & co fans, though.
Andrew! First, I LOVE the new name of your newsletter. I think it fits so well with your overall vibe and is also inclusive to your (current) chosen dog family, too. Second, what a treat to be able to share comments with you. Many times I've re-read your missives because I identify with your social anxiety, or I love a turn of phrase you've shared with us (like this one: "Attempting to isolate myself left me like a ship without a sail, but anchors can be people and places and of course dogs.")
My family and I have loved Momo, Yaya, Boo, and you for years - we often gift your books to dog lovers in our lives. Thank you for sharing your journey, and I hope you have a holiday (no pressure to have a "happy" or "cheery" holiday...just have a holiday, as Alua Arthur says.) And give those sweet dogs a scritch for us!
I love this so much Andrew, such a good piece. Where would you be without friends? The people to pick you up when you need lifting? We come from homes far from perfect, so you end up almost parent and sibling to your friends - your own chosen family. There's nothing like a really loyal, dependable, good friend. Nothing.
Life is too short to spend time with toxic people. As difficult as it is, sometimes you have to walk away or set up defined boundaries. Dogs, though. Dogs are the best family. Thanks for sharing yours with us!
My drunken parents managed to alienate pretty much all of the relatives I remember from my childhood. I've not really reconnected with most of them over the years as their religious views conflict with my "lifestyle" in spite of the fact that two of those families include a closeted gay man and an M to F transvestite.
I left home at 17 and while my mother & I were on speaking terms, my father & I were estranged for years until shortly after the death of my younger brother—which I blamed him for.
Eventually I was the one to arrange care for, and lastly personally care for Dad when he could no longer live alone.
Mother & I will never be close. She's cruelly critical of me and currently not speaking to me, which frankly is a relief.
Now divorced I spend my time with friends, people I choose to be with. And of course animals through my pet care business.
As for Substack, I don't see any visible difference in the newsletter other than the fact that there's a comment link in it. Free? I call that a wise business decision.
Really needed to read this today. Holidays have been a forever struggle for myself. I too have similar feelings to the topics you shared. I especially like your break down of the simple equation. Spot on and that’s what I will continue to remind myself of. Your energy always seems to align with my inner turmoil. Thank you for sharing your messages.
So beautifully written. I’ve been blessed with a loving family my own, but so many people I know are not, so I’m pretty sure many people can relate and you are helping them with telling your story. Thank you! I’m going to share it with some friends of mine and hope it will help them too, finding piece with their given family and opening their hearts to choose a family for themselves ☺️
I'm curious which is a better support model for you: subscribing to substack or going through Patreon. Will you provide similar updates to supporters on either channel?
It's a very good question :) I'm gonna keep both for now, so if you're on Patreon you can stick around over there, as I'll also be sharing everything over there. And if that changes, I'll let you know!
Thank you for this. . . . At age 64, I am still struggling with the legacy of my given family (I love them but . . . ), and a year and a half after losing my beloved partner (my best friend and place of calm and joy) to brain cancer, these holidays feel especially difficult. But it's okay. We are all a work in progress.
So sorry to hear about your partner. I hope you can fill that social bucket a little bit, or get some dog love at bare minimum. ❤️
Sending you comfort and love and a paw on your arm or leg to know the presence of a furry beloved.
I find myself sharing your newsletter with my nephew because I often feel like your writings are so similar. Family can be so hard. My mom loved my children dearly but she and I had such a difficult relationship. I miss her of course but we have had the best time with our now adult children at Christmas since she has passed.
Thank you, Kaye ❤️
Just a note to say I really enjoyed this newsletter. Struggling through holidays hits different now that I have my own kids—it’s not a tradition I want to pass on. Happy to say they are big Momo & co fans, though.
Amazing – I think the important part is the being together and intentional. And love that they are Momo & Co fans :)
Andrew! First, I LOVE the new name of your newsletter. I think it fits so well with your overall vibe and is also inclusive to your (current) chosen dog family, too. Second, what a treat to be able to share comments with you. Many times I've re-read your missives because I identify with your social anxiety, or I love a turn of phrase you've shared with us (like this one: "Attempting to isolate myself left me like a ship without a sail, but anchors can be people and places and of course dogs.")
My family and I have loved Momo, Yaya, Boo, and you for years - we often gift your books to dog lovers in our lives. Thank you for sharing your journey, and I hope you have a holiday (no pressure to have a "happy" or "cheery" holiday...just have a holiday, as Alua Arthur says.) And give those sweet dogs a scritch for us!
I love this so much Andrew, such a good piece. Where would you be without friends? The people to pick you up when you need lifting? We come from homes far from perfect, so you end up almost parent and sibling to your friends - your own chosen family. There's nothing like a really loyal, dependable, good friend. Nothing.
Life is too short to spend time with toxic people. As difficult as it is, sometimes you have to walk away or set up defined boundaries. Dogs, though. Dogs are the best family. Thanks for sharing yours with us!
So was I subscribed to you already or did I find you on here? (Rhetorical question) I don’t remember you before. You have a large sub list. Wow!
I do like it on Substack so glad you are here and I can identify a lot with what you write about family. And I love my dogs.
I wish I had the newsletter love you have.
Ugh. Family.
My drunken parents managed to alienate pretty much all of the relatives I remember from my childhood. I've not really reconnected with most of them over the years as their religious views conflict with my "lifestyle" in spite of the fact that two of those families include a closeted gay man and an M to F transvestite.
I left home at 17 and while my mother & I were on speaking terms, my father & I were estranged for years until shortly after the death of my younger brother—which I blamed him for.
Eventually I was the one to arrange care for, and lastly personally care for Dad when he could no longer live alone.
Mother & I will never be close. She's cruelly critical of me and currently not speaking to me, which frankly is a relief.
Now divorced I spend my time with friends, people I choose to be with. And of course animals through my pet care business.
As for Substack, I don't see any visible difference in the newsletter other than the fact that there's a comment link in it. Free? I call that a wise business decision.
Really needed to read this today. Holidays have been a forever struggle for myself. I too have similar feelings to the topics you shared. I especially like your break down of the simple equation. Spot on and that’s what I will continue to remind myself of. Your energy always seems to align with my inner turmoil. Thank you for sharing your messages.
So beautifully written. I’ve been blessed with a loving family my own, but so many people I know are not, so I’m pretty sure many people can relate and you are helping them with telling your story. Thank you! I’m going to share it with some friends of mine and hope it will help them too, finding piece with their given family and opening their hearts to choose a family for themselves ☺️
Thank you Nadja ❤️
I'm curious which is a better support model for you: subscribing to substack or going through Patreon. Will you provide similar updates to supporters on either channel?
It's a very good question :) I'm gonna keep both for now, so if you're on Patreon you can stick around over there, as I'll also be sharing everything over there. And if that changes, I'll let you know!